By KATARINA ILIC

SNSPost.com

I love me a gentleman, I really do.  It’s just so…refreshing.

I’m not one of those women who believe that chivalry is dead and there aren’t any good guys out there and all the other limiting beliefs that some women subscribe to.  There ARE great men out there…amazing men…and thankfully I’ve had the privilege of being inspired by some of them.

They aren’t everywhere, that’s what makes them special, and as my colleague Jonathon said in his article, “How To Be the ‘Lady’ Every Gentleman Wants,” you have to be a lady in order to attract a gentleman. But you also have to be a gentleman in order to attract a lady.  It’s kind of like, which one came first, the chicken or the egg? {I have some thoughts on that, but I’ll save it for another article}

We all know how the quintessential gentleman looks like, or rather, what his actions might look like…

He holds open doors for her and opens the car door

He holds her coat for her as she puts it on

He walks on the street side of the sidewalk

He gives her his arm for her to loop hers through as they’re walking

He always lets her go first (to order, to walk in, etc.) 

And there are other various forms of physical expression a gentleman might exhibit.

But being a REAL gentleman goes deeper than the surface.  It’s a way of being, a way of believing, a way of thinking and at the end, a way of acting. The actions flow out of the being.

A REAL gentleman…

Looks out for others, not just women but anyone in his life who he cares about

Has standards and sticks to them no matter what others may think

Isn’t afraid to be vulnerable at the risk of getting hurt or rejected

Holds to his word and does what he says he’s going to do

Is respectful of other people’s time, emotions, thoughts

Is honest with himself first, and then also with others

Is strong…in character, not necessarily in strength

Knows who he is and he’s not afraid to be himself

Doesn’t run away from problems, but faces them

Thinks about others and not only himself

Is thoughtful and considerate

Is reliable and trustworthy

Isn’t governed by his ego

Believes in something

Always finds a way

Has vision

A REAL gentleman isn’t afraid to love and be loved

A real gentleman doesn’t do “gentlemanly” things in order to get something, he does them because that’s who he truly is.  And it’s real and it’s authentic.  The fake gentleman, if you don’t recognize him from the start, will eventually reveal himself, when he quickly stops being a gentleman because he either gets what he wants or he realizes he ain’t gonna get what he wants.

Everything always goes back to my “How’s Your Show?” article.  If being a gentleman isn’t natural for you, then don’t fake it.  It will come off as awkward and disingenuous.  But that’s not to say that you aren’t able to transform or evolve into a gentleman if that is what you desire.  First start with acknowledging the desire, then the transformation will begin to happen naturally, and your actions will follow eventually.

We need more gentlemen in this world…the ladies are counting on you J