By Russell A. Irving

www.DontOverlookTheObvious.com

Remaining young is a terrific goal. If that refers to remaining young at heart.

Problems arise when we do our darnedest to continue behaving as a teenager, far into our adult lives.

And, when you are married, this takes on a whole new dimension!

Teenagers, for the most part, go through the phase where everything is about them. Their views. Their wants and needs. Their wanting what they want, when they want it and how they want it. And, how often, they want it.

All of the things that help to drive parents crazy!

Now, fast forward to husbands and wives.

A number of you (gulp) have never quite gotten past those me-first, second, and third views of how life should be.

You don’t compromise. Or, if you do, your spouse will be reminded of that act of ‘generosity’ on your part, for months; perhaps, even years, to come.

You expect everything to be done your way. From the simple acts of folding laundry or cutting the grass… To raising the children… What clothes they wear… What music they should listen to…

How they spend time is somehow also under your jurisdiction. Whom your wife or husband is allowed to spend time with… Or, not…

Which activities they can be a part of…

Where the family goes on vacation, and what will be done, once there.

The spending of any discretionary income. Or, for what purposes the two of you will go into debt.

Even the bedroom is not sacrosanct.

I could go on. But, to what end? By now, if any of these have made you feel as if I had just held a mirror up to your face, then I have served my purpose here. — The goal being for you to recognize the part of you that has retained the selfishness and self-centeredness of those teenage years.

And, I ask you to think about being married to someone like yourself. Would you want that? You might suffer through it. But, you would certainly not be happy. And, at some point in time, you would finally say, “Enough!”. And, you would leave. Or, have an affair. Or, simply become a bitch or a bastard in the relationship, yourself.

However, I am not so naive as to believe that seeing yourself this way will matter much, especially if you are deeply entrenched in these behaviors.

For those of you who just raised your inner hand, if you will, saying, “That’s me!”, I have 2 other things to offer you.

If you have children, they might model their behavior after yours. And, the odds are that you will not like that very much, at all… Or, they will side greatly with your wife or husband. And, that will not please you either.

Then, of course, there might come a day with diminishing returns. Because at some point in time, your spouse will likely leave you, figuratively or literally, as I have said. And, where will that leave you then? – Without much of what you believe that you need or deserve. — So, wouldn’t it be better, if only to get most of what you want, to change yourself, somewhat? To grow up and become less self-centered?

Bottom-line… It’s a matter of extremes. It’s a matter of maturity. It’s a matter of whether or not you truly love and respect your spouse. And, if you are worthy of them in your life.

-’Nuff said!

Russell Irving is a media-acclaimed, expert on Single Life, Marriage, and more. – His book, Improve Your Marriage – Don’t Overlook The Obvious applies to couples in a ‘long term relationship‘ and is available at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com, as well as the book’s companion site, www.DontOverlookTheObvious.com . Check out his YouTube channel, ImprovingMarriages. – He is also webmaster and contributor to www.MenExpressThemselves.com.