By MEGAN ANNE FEY

I want you to close your eyes and say this word to yourself: dating.  Notice what you feel when you say that word.  Sit with it for a minute.  What came up for you?   Can you name at least 3 words or feelings that you associate with dating?

For me, words like: scary, awkward, vulnerable, and rejection came up and I noticed my jaw beginning to lock, gradually.  Hmm…

Let me tell you a little about me.  I am somebody who avoided the dating scene for years because of the beliefs I held onto around dating.  I thought, “Who in their right mind would want to deliberately put themselves in awkward situations, having to make conversation, knowing the other person could potentially say the dreaded words of, “I’m not interested.”  Or, avoid contacting you, still saying, “I’m not interested.”  After all, I would meet “the one”, my soulmate, my beloved, in a coffee shop (or a low key place like that) and he would approach me and tell me I was the one he was always looking for….RIGHT?  It was going to be effortless!  Or at least, that’s what I thought.

After some introspection and self-reflection, I’ve realized that what I was really choosing to do is to avoid the process of being vulnerable, and learning the skill of trusting myself.

What if the dating process could actually be a beautiful one?  What if words like: growth, learning, fun, and reflection came up if we just made a slight adjustment to the way we view this dreaded (as many of us may see it) process?  What if we began to see dating as a process of learning what attracts us and view each experience as another opportunity to trust ourselves and our feelings?  What if we saw dating as a gift, learning how to present ourselves to the other person in the most authentic way we know how?  What if we approached each date as another chance to be our true selves, hiding from and proving nothing?  What if, before meeting eye to eye with our date, we say to ourselves, “I have nothing to hide, I commit to be my authentic self in the presence of (insert date’s name here).  I am so grateful for this experience.”

What if?

The Course in Miracles says that a miracle is a shift in ones consciousness.  Will you join me in this new way of approaching dating?  I would love to hear from you if you would like to share how your experience of dating has changed by shifting your attitude towards it.   Please leave a comment below.

Megan Anne Fey is a regular contributor to the SNSPost, sharing her thoughts, experiences and revelations as she navigates the process of dating and finding “the one.”